Purdah

[Leanne]

Oh baby fuck me harder
til the blood comes out my mouth this line is made stronger by the later stitch reference.
for I am meat I think this line could be stronger, I've heard this comparison many times.
for your exalted hands -- these lines seem to be the most problematic in the poem, and I tend to agree.  I will address this in the edit.
to shape into amphora ash This is nice, but a little disconnected from the violence of the preceding.  
 
Don't wait to ask, I I don't see a purpose for this enjambment. -- just the I eye pun, because I am compelled to be ridiculous from time to time
invited you in with downcast eyes
and you heard me beg
through lips swollen shut with
truth-coloured candy stitches "swollen shut with stitches" - tied shut? Swollen is a better word, but doesn't really fit the stitches. -- I was trying to avoid internal punctuation but I think I shall need some commas. The lips are both swollen and stitched. 
 
Door open means kick down the house I like this line, I read it as a nice way of saying "beat up the slut".
let in the flood
with bloated corpses rowing paper ferries 
past Charon's middle finger extended middle finger extended could be an interesting penile reference. -- I didn't think of that, but it could, couldn't it? 
seven times circling Elysium
 
Drive out the me, possessed of
clipped pennies and vagrant dreams
and transfuse essence of god do "the me" possess the transfused essence of god? I think it should be "transfused" in that case. If they transfuse the essence of god, I think it could be more grammatically clear as well. -- again a comma will probably clear that up.  Transfuse is intended as a verb here
in whose image the sins of man
spiral endlessly to Samarkand  Interesting ending... 
 

There's a lot of ways this can be taken - just as a singular woman, or as Greek ideals (Elysium) vs Islamic (Samarkand), etc.

Many thanks.  I am most especially pleased that the metaphors are strong enough to work on several levels, as was intended. I will be using several of your suggestions in the edit.