A Tale of Two Choices

[PondWater]

1st revision:
Open door, a room crammed with furniture.

People packed in, squirming salmon in a small pond.
Large dogs pacing, panting, sniffing, climbing on and off furniture.
Voices scolding, arms crossed tight.
Scent of turkey and gravy mingle with wet dog and dry dog food.
 
The oppressor, fear.  A life sacrificed, mine.
 
Open doors, tables spread out in expansive spaces.
Warm smiles, arms spread wide in welcome greetings.  
Great windows floor to ceiling let in soft autumn light.
Glasses clinking, cozy fire crackling.
Smells of roast beef and fresh baked bread fuse with apple cider and scrumptious pecan pies.

 
The choice is made.

Original:
Open the door, room crammed with furniture
People packed in, squirming salmon in a small pond
Large dogs pacing, panting, sniffing, climbing on, off furniture
Scent of turkey and gravy mingle with wet dog and dry dog food.
 
The oppressor, fear.
 
The life sacrificed, mine.
 
Open doors, warm smiles, warm greetings.  
Tables spread out in expansive spaces.
Great windows floor to ceiling let in soft autumn light
Glasses clinking, warm fire crackling.
Gentle laughter, soft music, conversation fill the air.
Smells of roast beef and warm bread fuse with apple cider and scrumptious pecan pies.
 
The choice is mine.

Hello Persadia... This will be my first attempted critique. What hits me hardest is the feeling of chaos and confusion created by the "rough reading". It is choppy repetitive simple familiar energetic and contrasting. I think that slight discomfort brings out the questioning element and tension of a choice to be made. 
That single line divides the two very dramatically,  almost too drastically, then the closing line and it really seems too final. Maybe leave the question less answered.
 
The relation of the two stanzas is what really made me think. The negative and positive conotation is perfectly suttle, the way the word choice and flow is consistent  between the two masks the obvious emotion of each enough to force the question. Maybe remove the last line or make it more ambiguous. Also Im sure a huge portion is lost on myself being quite ignorant of your essential refrence in this piece....