11-16-2017, 03:33 AM
(11-14-2017, 10:39 AM)Persadia Wrote: Push Not sure if the title fits
Curl up an exclamation point might work here
Protect yourself a colon?
Your head
Your Heart
your Being why the mix of capitals, why no punctuation?
The onslaught
Push forward
one step
Each moment a lost one
Nothing to sink into
Nothing to become
The torrent continues
Breathe. Recall the Reason
But death, ever present. cutting not sure cutting fits, perhaps imposing?
Each moment a thief
stealing your soul
steeling your soul this is where the contradiction works.
The curling up made me think of an armadillo or a rolley-polley bug. Forgive me for the hodge-podge format, I worried I wouldn't be able to fit all I may need to. The poem lacks proper punct and capitalization.The meter seems fine, though. I looked up the word steeling because I was thinking metal, but now it fits nicely. I wondered if you were aiming for minimalism. I'm going to check out Lizzie's suggestion to the links, too, because I am sure it will be a blessing.
-nibbed
there's always a better reason to love

