11-16-2017, 01:17 AM
Thank you everyone for the positive, constructive feedback and encouragement.
It seems my penchant for brevity and being mysterious have thwarted my first-try at writing a poem.
I was going to include a sub-title, "Corporate Life", but thought that would give too much away.
Seems I could've included it to help the reader, and my cause.
I have a lot to learn about poetry!
"Push"
Curl up - picture an adult in fetal position in response to massive, repeated abuses, in complete despair
Protect yourself
Your head
Your Heart
your Being - This entire stanza is meant to portray the idea of having to protect one's entire being, physically (nervous system), emotionally, mentally
The onslaught - is meant to portray the constant demands and lack of respect and consideration.
Push forward
one step - This stanza is what I do to move past (stay alive in) those moments of overwhelm
Each moment a lost one - Feeling lack of meaningful work
Nothing to sink into - represents feeling a lack of engagement, lack of challenging, interesting work (related to above line)
Nothing to become - absence of creative work (also related to above line)
The torrent continues - It feels never-ending / non-stop (could change this to a different word)
Breathe. Recall the Reason - a coping mechanism to remind myself why I'm here doing what I'm doing
But death, ever present. cutting - Death here really is a metaphor for Corporate culture (how it feels to me), death by 1,000 cuts
Each moment a thief
stealing your soul
steeling your soul - This stanza is a continuation of the metaphor and the results of living with "death" always near, threatening my soul.
@bloated_corpse - the two different spellings of stealing/steeling was intentional, to communicate multiple ideas: first, robbery of the soul; second, preparing to deal with something difficult; and/or hardening the soul, growing a thick skin, or becoming callous.
It seems my penchant for brevity and being mysterious have thwarted my first-try at writing a poem.
I was going to include a sub-title, "Corporate Life", but thought that would give too much away.
Seems I could've included it to help the reader, and my cause.
I have a lot to learn about poetry!
"Push"
Curl up - picture an adult in fetal position in response to massive, repeated abuses, in complete despair
Protect yourself
Your head
Your Heart
your Being - This entire stanza is meant to portray the idea of having to protect one's entire being, physically (nervous system), emotionally, mentally
The onslaught - is meant to portray the constant demands and lack of respect and consideration.
Push forward
one step - This stanza is what I do to move past (stay alive in) those moments of overwhelm
Each moment a lost one - Feeling lack of meaningful work
Nothing to sink into - represents feeling a lack of engagement, lack of challenging, interesting work (related to above line)
Nothing to become - absence of creative work (also related to above line)
The torrent continues - It feels never-ending / non-stop (could change this to a different word)
Breathe. Recall the Reason - a coping mechanism to remind myself why I'm here doing what I'm doing
But death, ever present. cutting - Death here really is a metaphor for Corporate culture (how it feels to me), death by 1,000 cuts
Each moment a thief
stealing your soul
steeling your soul - This stanza is a continuation of the metaphor and the results of living with "death" always near, threatening my soul.
@bloated_corpse - the two different spellings of stealing/steeling was intentional, to communicate multiple ideas: first, robbery of the soul; second, preparing to deal with something difficult; and/or hardening the soul, growing a thick skin, or becoming callous.
Everything's a metaphor
"People don't know what to do with you when you are not trying to assimilate" Gabrielle Union
"People don't know what to do with you when you are not trying to assimilate" Gabrielle Union