A Constant Call to My Fall

[nibbed]

Hi Nibbed,
No major thoughts on content, I think the imagery works and is consistent, but a suggestion on structure.
For your consideration:

You'll wait
for my love letter,
that murky wedge
between me
& God.

I must confess,
I see snakes
(I'd suggest 'serpents' for snakes, gives you two apple connections, should you want one)
and worms

and hear
the sounds
of much hissing.
This verse is, I think, the only real weak point.
What would you 'hear' if not 'sounds'?
And 'much' is rather weak.
(This would seem to be a bit of a missed opportunity for 'writhing')

Vapors drop
whips and fire,
mace and chains
(couldn't tell if this was mace (spiked club - in which case 'maces') or mace (the chemical spray)).

Hope this is of some use.

Best, Knot.

Thank you kindly Knot
You brought out some good points I hadn't noticed!
I thought I was through, but that isn't the case.
Looking forward to a spit and shine polishing
on this one.

nibbed