First Edit: Ghost Story

[ellajam]

Hi, Richard, I found this, sharp, cutting in an interesting way.

Ghost Story

I have seen those who exclaim passion
like a poltergeist shakes its chain. Strong opening, for me the ranter who spouts passionately but in fact ends with little impact and questionable purpose.

Their words fistless pounding
one is best to ignore. I'd prefer you add the verb between words and fistless, either the simple "are" which would allow a comma or semicolon and apply to actions/composed also, or some thing that adds, like "land as"
or something better. I like the way fistless pounding reinforces the opening.
Their actions composed of blood
that eventually disappears. Brought to mind disappearing ink, or deleted posts.
Their motive a dead child
who wanders an empty hall
in search of heaven. Strong lines for me, the crux of the poem, an aim for heartless damage.

I have seen these phantoms
fade away in daylight,
never to haunt me again. I like the way the ending sends them up in smoke, all the thrashing coming to naught.

Fun read for me, good luck with it.