10-25-2017, 12:39 PM
‘Among a floor of the soon dead’ is implied in the title and in the snow angel’s head.
The ‘soon’, especially, makes it feel dumbed down a bit too much.
I’d prefer something hyperbolic, like ‘on the floor of the dead’ or a line break device such as
proud and confident, young
and living.
Keep searching. Great poem, otherwise.
The ‘soon’, especially, makes it feel dumbed down a bit too much.
I’d prefer something hyperbolic, like ‘on the floor of the dead’ or a line break device such as
proud and confident, young
and living.
Keep searching. Great poem, otherwise.
~ I think I just quoted myself - Achebe