10-20-2017, 04:20 PM 
	
	
	(10-19-2017, 06:48 AM)Todd Wrote: Revision 3Revision 3 is by far the best. You've made good changes while preserving the last lines. The sizzling dew is almost foreboding.
Bare of leaves, the wild trees
stretch like fellow insomniacs.
Dew sizzles in beads
on the long grass.
Under the dry light, flowers glint
in the still air, unblown pinwheels.
I shift in the dirt
from foot to foot,
knowing the end
will be nothing like this.
My question is whether you can name a specific kind of flower, kind of tree, variety of grass that would give a crisper visual? You have "long grass," but that could just be generic unmowed lawn grass or it could be ornamental grasses, beach grass, etc.

 

 
