The End of the World
#2
(10-15-2017, 09:43 AM)RiverNotch Wrote:  The End of the World



there's four breakfasts
painted on this shirt --


you and i we'll live I think without a comma after "i" will would work better than "we'll"
dull lives

circles of seasons, not wet and dry, alone and quiet and intimate
with you

with nothing new
we'll leave the getting drunk

to other eyes,
we'll leave the drama of getting old

behind,
we'll not write poems, we'll not write songs, we'll not write cycles
to be criticized

out in the country of cider and maple syrup
where i should be -- yellow, not red,
not green, not blue -- where i should be
out in the country of muesli and full cream milk full fat milk sounds nicer- and might be more accurate?

with you the muse
and sundress homemaker -- love this image. quietly nostalgic


my dear, my sweet, my bowl of honey, 
you've attracted flies sickly sweet turns morbid. I like it
Hey River. My favorite part of this is the subtle yet consistent rhymes. - lives/dry/eyes/behind/criticized/flies. Very nice.

Paul
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Messages In This Thread
The End of the World - by RiverNotch - 10-15-2017, 09:43 AM
RE: The End of the World - by Tiger the Lion - 10-16-2017, 09:45 PM
RE: The End of the World - by rose - 10-17-2017, 09:59 PM
RE: The End of the World - by RiverNotch - 10-22-2017, 12:44 AM
RE: The End of the World - by Psychofemale - 10-31-2017, 12:31 PM



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