10-12-2017, 01:08 AM
Hi,
I really like how you included lines with concert details that offer a window into your life, such as "when I'm drinking too much wine." and "My shrink has blocked me from his private line." It is slightly confusing when you are talking about your dog vs your wife even though they are different genders. Maybe consider breaking the poem up into multiple stanzas to separate the different components?
I really like how you included lines with concert details that offer a window into your life, such as "when I'm drinking too much wine." and "My shrink has blocked me from his private line." It is slightly confusing when you are talking about your dog vs your wife even though they are different genders. Maybe consider breaking the poem up into multiple stanzas to separate the different components?