10-10-2017, 03:28 PM
aha... yes, it took a while—tectak isn’t the most articulate chap in the world—but now i understand... i think.
basically, the couplet exposes the “written-ness” of the poem (not to be confused with authorial intrusion which is deliberate and often written in the 2nd person). which compromises the confessional aspect of it. it’s a bit like catching a glimpse of the boom mic in a film. you’re taken out of the scene and suddenly aware that you’re just watching actors performing on a sound stage. likewise, the rhyme implies performance. with that in mind, i don’t think it is necessarily a problem of 1st person vs form, but rather character-confessional vs form, especially given the nature of your particular poem. so, instead of reading the thoughts of a child molester, we read the thoughts of a poet’s eye view of the thoughts of a child molester because our suspension of disbelief has been blocked by the unexpected appearance of the poet..
so, your original question isn’t really relevant. yes, form and 1st person poetry are not antagonistic to each other. but, if the 1st person is a character written in a confessional style then sometimes the application of traditional forms may be detrimental to the desired effect.
nb: having read the other comments it appears his problem isn’t specifically with the couplet (it was 6 in the morning at that stage and i must have confused tectak with billy boy), but with the overall style being detrimental to the credibility of the speaker. it seems an insignificant point in relation to the general question you raised at the beginning of this thread, but i thought i’d just point out my error.
basically, the couplet exposes the “written-ness” of the poem (not to be confused with authorial intrusion which is deliberate and often written in the 2nd person). which compromises the confessional aspect of it. it’s a bit like catching a glimpse of the boom mic in a film. you’re taken out of the scene and suddenly aware that you’re just watching actors performing on a sound stage. likewise, the rhyme implies performance. with that in mind, i don’t think it is necessarily a problem of 1st person vs form, but rather character-confessional vs form, especially given the nature of your particular poem. so, instead of reading the thoughts of a child molester, we read the thoughts of a poet’s eye view of the thoughts of a child molester because our suspension of disbelief has been blocked by the unexpected appearance of the poet..
so, your original question isn’t really relevant. yes, form and 1st person poetry are not antagonistic to each other. but, if the 1st person is a character written in a confessional style then sometimes the application of traditional forms may be detrimental to the desired effect.
nb: having read the other comments it appears his problem isn’t specifically with the couplet (it was 6 in the morning at that stage and i must have confused tectak with billy boy), but with the overall style being detrimental to the credibility of the speaker. it seems an insignificant point in relation to the general question you raised at the beginning of this thread, but i thought i’d just point out my error.