Second Edit: One Night Stand

[Todd]

Hi Richard,

A couple comments for you.

One Night Stand

At midnight, silence shrieks,--I'm not a fan of shrieks here. I can see what you're getting at. There's an uncomfortableness to the silence. There's an idea of potential regret in it. I sort of like the contrast of the words. It just doesn't feel like quite the right word.
children sleep,--This works for me if the children are intended to be read in the home and not read as some generic children across the country or as even the speaker's own possible children somewhere else.
most adults dream,--I think you could cut both lines about adults.
her home becomes the most inviting blanket.--I do like the imagery of this line. I stopped for a moment on home though. Is it her home is the speaker hoping for a home--for roots for something more lasting? Or would it simply be her bed or her arms? It seems that this could be thematic--transient vs permanent.



At dawn, silence stops,--I get the symmetry. This seems here though mostly to avoid the dawn/yawn end rhyme.
children yawn,
some adults return to life,--Again possible cut.
I awaken next to her, more alone.Nice end line

There is a part of me that wants to savagely cut this. Here's where I see your poem.

At midnight,
her home becomes the most inviting blanket.
At dawn,
I awaken next to her, more alone.

~~

Just some thoughts.

Best,

Todd