10-05-2017, 08:45 PM
Hey RiverNotch,
Thank you for the comments. I used the word green in the first stanza because of how it can mean inexperienced and also provide some imagery. I guess it didn't go over well. I do agree with you about the second sentence's structure in the first stanza being pretty sloppy, and I'll make sure to clean it up. I wanted to do something with the gesture Socrates was making with his finger pointing up, so I'll have to find another way to reword it. If you have any suggestions on that part I'll be more than happy to hear them.
Plato wasn't present for Socrates' execution, so I wanted to do something with him being there and being older than he should've been. And his final words before he died meant that he was cured of life as a disease and sacrificing a rooster to Asclepius was their way of giving thanks, but if I'm wrong on any of this, please correct me.
I'll be sure to have your thoughts in mind when editing.
Thank you for the comments. I used the word green in the first stanza because of how it can mean inexperienced and also provide some imagery. I guess it didn't go over well. I do agree with you about the second sentence's structure in the first stanza being pretty sloppy, and I'll make sure to clean it up. I wanted to do something with the gesture Socrates was making with his finger pointing up, so I'll have to find another way to reword it. If you have any suggestions on that part I'll be more than happy to hear them.
Plato wasn't present for Socrates' execution, so I wanted to do something with him being there and being older than he should've been. And his final words before he died meant that he was cured of life as a disease and sacrificing a rooster to Asclepius was their way of giving thanks, but if I'm wrong on any of this, please correct me.
I'll be sure to have your thoughts in mind when editing.