Trapped - Edit
#10
Edit 1;

Trapped


In half a drop of water clinging
to a bowl’s rim in the sink,
I thought I saw a spider
caught and quivering.

It wasn’t that at all— 
just the world reflected
with my face.


Thanks again to all the commenters, changes made as discussed.

@rayheinrich - Can't quite agree there, final line break before "reflected" or "my" would seem more malicious.
Saying "ugly me, my face looks like a spider," not "biggety me, my face is the world."
feedback award Non-practicing atheist
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Messages In This Thread
Trapped - Edit - by dukealien - 09-25-2017, 05:32 AM
RE: Trapped - by just mercedes - 09-25-2017, 12:02 PM
RE: Trapped - by billy - 09-25-2017, 04:31 PM
RE: Trapped - by RiverNotch - 09-25-2017, 04:53 PM
RE: Trapped - by rayheinrich - 09-25-2017, 08:09 PM
RE: Trapped - by dukealien - 09-25-2017, 10:34 PM
RE: Trapped - by Tiger the Lion - 09-25-2017, 10:53 PM
RE: Trapped - by Todd - 09-25-2017, 11:08 PM
RE: Trapped - by rayheinrich - 09-26-2017, 01:53 AM
RE: Trapped - Edit - by dukealien - 09-26-2017, 12:48 PM
RE: Trapped - Edit - by rayheinrich - 09-27-2017, 08:06 PM
RE: Trapped - Edit - by Keith - 09-27-2017, 06:51 AM



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