Hoarfrost

[Yjack123]

I know if I applied something like this http://www.firesides.ca/poemtips.htm it would demolish your writing. I'll leave it there if you want to skim it over yourself.

My main concern is it's too confusing. Not the good kind of confusing, the bad kind.
I kinda got this vibe I'm deciphering poetic lore rather than letting the words form into a neat package.
I do like the imagery, I feel like there's a limit though 

I have no idea what you are trying to say.  I don't understand what's confusing.  I'm not trying to get defensive, but I don't understand.