Reborn

[ellajam]

Reborn
 
the late summer sun
had sapped our strength
 
‘til the sky smashed open
a piñata of ions
 
and we played like children

A poem to smile about.

The sonics of the first four lines, along with the imagery, are so luscious that the plainness of the last line lands with a thud for me. The thought is good, maybe you could say it some other way.

Thanks for posting it, lovely.  Oh, and I think "till" may be preferred, not that it really matters to me.