The Grape Dreams of Wine (revision 2)

[Abu jafoe]

Hello Todd,

first of all, I really enjoyed reading your poem, it evokes a clear image!
As a suggestion, I think it might be interesting to perhaps play a bit with the structure of the lines
An example could be :

Mine is the vine’s melody;
it's song kissing your lips
you taste my aria
skin strained beneath the sun.

Mine is the vine’s melody;
skin strained beneath the sun.
This song kisses your lips;
you taste my aria.

Kind regards