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Birthmark (Edit Two)
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09-12-2017, 08:04 AM
This is visual, I can put together a soft image of the woman's body and birthmark. The description of the thin woman and mac n cheese off set the tone. I don't think it's irrelevant, I just think a different choice of words would make it feel a little more cohesive. New to this, I apologize if my feedback feels bland.
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| Messages In This Thread |
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Birthmark (Edit Two) - by fuzzyllama1 - 08-05-2017, 04:51 AM
RE: Birthmark - by Todd - 08-05-2017, 05:17 AM
RE: Birthmark - by Lydish - 08-05-2017, 05:25 AM
RE: Birthmark - by fuzzyllama1 - 08-05-2017, 06:22 AM
RE: Birthmark - by Todd - 08-05-2017, 06:38 AM
RE: Birthmark - by nibbed - 08-05-2017, 11:00 AM
RE: Birthmark - by fuzzyllama1 - 08-06-2017, 12:54 AM
RE: Birthmark (Edit One) - by typing mantis - 08-06-2017, 10:12 PM
RE: Birthmark - by fuzzyllama1 - 08-06-2017, 11:56 PM
RE: Birthmark (Edit One) - by Todd - 08-07-2017, 01:03 PM
RE: Birthmark (Edit One) - by hanumang108 - 08-07-2017, 06:20 PM
RE: Birthmark - by Todd - 08-07-2017, 10:58 PM
RE: Birthmark - by fuzzyllama1 - 08-07-2017, 11:50 PM
RE: Birthmark (Edit One) - by nibbed - 08-10-2017, 02:41 AM
RE: Birthmark (Edit One) - by fuzzyllama1 - 08-10-2017, 03:42 AM
RE: Birthmark (Edit One) - by lyon - 08-10-2017, 05:02 AM
RE: Birthmark (Edit One) - by BeauRessa - 08-11-2017, 02:44 PM
RE: Birthmark (Edit One) - by fuzzyllama1 - 08-15-2017, 07:13 AM
RE: Birthmark (Edit One) - by Dcandy925 - 09-12-2017, 08:04 AM
Birthmark (Edit two) - by fuzzyllama1 - 09-23-2017, 08:54 AM
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