09-09-2017, 11:01 PM
First of all, it's peers, not piers, unless you're at the boat dock. I also don't really think you went to a one room school (although I might be wrong). This, to me, feels like it's missing the honesty of actual experience. I didn't feel like I was there. Also when I read it aloud it felt rough and stumbling. It's a good idea that, I think, just needs a little more emotion and connection. Just my opinion.