bleak
#6
(08-18-2017, 01:42 PM)typing mantis Wrote:  There are tumults in the ocean,
but the ship must sail,
it cannot sink.

I must reach the port,
I cannot sleep,
not a wink.

when times are hard
and light is bleak,
sea is the paper,
and tears are ink.
Hello Typing Mantis: Youre poem was quite enjoyable (I like them tight and neat). 
perhaps it could be even tighter and more dramtic, an example of what I mean:

Ocean is tumultuous
ship must sail, 
cannot sink.

to port must reach,
nary a sleeps wink.

this may add a faster pace to the read. Creating a feel of urgency that 
a ship on the ocean in trouble would have. Just a thought 

Thanks Homer
Someday the Mystery will be known Wink
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Messages In This Thread
bleak - by typing mantis - 08-18-2017, 01:42 PM
RE: bleak - by Tiger the Lion - 08-18-2017, 03:11 PM
RE: bleak - by Richard - 08-21-2017, 11:46 AM
RE: bleak - by ClaireLou - 09-08-2017, 08:58 PM
RE: bleak - by nibbed - 09-08-2017, 10:05 PM
RE: bleak - by homer1950 - 09-09-2017, 12:53 AM
RE: bleak - by billy - 09-09-2017, 12:01 PM
RE: bleak - by JMannUK - 09-16-2017, 05:26 AM
RE: bleak - by Borissouza - 09-17-2017, 02:40 AM



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