09-05-2017, 10:10 PM
Hi rowens.
I agree with Keith and vagabond.
I thought maybe you might consider
tightening up the poem a bit.
Something like:
They banned trick or treating around here/because they said it's more dangerous than/it used to be./But how is it more dangerous?/A kid used to leave the house/to go trick or treating/and come back when he got done./ / Now you drive to the house,/and put a telephone in the kid's hand/and watch him walk up to the door/with a telephone in his hand,/and how is it more dangerous than it used to be?
Best regards,
nibbed
I agree with Keith and vagabond.
I thought maybe you might consider
tightening up the poem a bit.
Something like:
They banned trick or treating around here/because they said it's more dangerous than/it used to be./But how is it more dangerous?/A kid used to leave the house/to go trick or treating/and come back when he got done./ / Now you drive to the house,/and put a telephone in the kid's hand/and watch him walk up to the door/with a telephone in his hand,/and how is it more dangerous than it used to be?
Best regards,
nibbed
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