09-05-2017, 08:15 PM
I don't know if it would work but I would have a tendency to put "Beauty is" on its own at the top & then run each verse as if they were from this line if that makes sense! ie
Birdwatching
Beauty is
big, expressive eyes,
a smile wider than rivers,
words that contain the universe --
the purple scarf of an olive-backed sunbird,
the horned shadow of the old scops owl,
the coot coot coot of a colasisi --
me in the morning, searching for you
with binoculars and my mind's eye,
followed by your reply: a mocking
smile.
Apart from that I enjoyed it. Your expressiveness of verse is far superior to mine!
Birdwatching
Beauty is
big, expressive eyes,
a smile wider than rivers,
words that contain the universe --
the purple scarf of an olive-backed sunbird,
the horned shadow of the old scops owl,
the coot coot coot of a colasisi --
me in the morning, searching for you
with binoculars and my mind's eye,
followed by your reply: a mocking
smile.
Apart from that I enjoyed it. Your expressiveness of verse is far superior to mine!