Dingo (after Judith Wright) Edit 2

[CRNDLSM]

There are so many things I want to say about this.  

Edit 1
 

Lynchy worked one winter trapping dingoes for bounty. A lazy man, maybe he is a lazy person, it says he worked one winter trapping dingos, suggesting he works many different jobs, based on what's available he couldn’t be bothered with traps.  I can't imagine setting a dingo trap, like hunting mostly just patience?  Couldn't be more difficult than hooking dog vulvas Dingoes were too smart for him.  Must say, the sadistic method He devises catching the dingos is pretty clever, he outsmarted the dingos.  He bought unwanted mongrel bitches from the Council Pound. When they came on heat he tethered them near the National Park boundaries if this was the only means he had to make ends, and had been rather unsuccessful, this is like a survival trick, I don't know about lazy, with fish hooks embedded in their vulva and anchored to a branch. When a dingo mounted, his penis was hooked. He usually bled to death. Sometimes, one would leave shredded remnants, and escape.  This is infuriating, made me appreciate Judith Wright's from an animal rights perspective, none of this has ever crossed my mind, too true human behavior.  

 Kind of reads cold like an intro, powerful but I can't nail down the tone

 

A flock of stars pulses
light as sound, fine 
crystal-tapped notes.

 
A high scream rises, rises,
falls slowly to a low moan
Shadows fade to silence.

 

Before gods, before language,
wild dogs called from the void
to the light, voicing their land, 
dark matter defying 
the piercing stars.

 

 
 
First Draft


 
Lynchy worked one winter trapping dingoes for the bounty on their scalps. A lazy man, he couldn’t be bothered with traps. Dingoes were too smart for him. He bought unwanted mongrel bitches from the Council Pound. When they came on heat he tethered them near the National Park boundaries, with fish hooks embedded in their vulva. When a dingo mounted one, his penis was hooked. He usually bled to death. Sometimes, one would leave shredded remnants, and escape.
 
 
Up here, where snowy peaks
range along the sky,
on full moon nights
a flock of stars pulses
light as sound, fine
crystal-tapped notes.
 
In response, from a ridge nearby
a high scream rises, rises,
falls slowly to a low moan,
fades to shadowy echoes,
silence. From another ridge
it sounds again; defiance,
then sorrow, then death.
 
Before gods, before language,
wild dogs called from the void
to the light, voicing the land,
dark matter defying
the piercing stars.
 
 
 

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I'm not sure why I wanted prose and verse together. Sort of like a quasi-haibun.

Should the prose piece be first, or after the verse, or not at all? Or just keep the prose and cut the verse?

I'd love to know whether you think it works.