The Difference - Edit 1

[just mercedes]

The Difference

I. Solitude

A bachelor
stands outside his house
alone, discovering
cool breezes, sunny leaves
and birdsong
no one to say such gentle joys
are unmanly.

II. Loneliness

That bachelor discovering
no house-keys in his pocket.

Solitude's a bachelor
standing outside his house
alone, entranced
by cool breezes, sunny leaves
and birdsong with
no one to say such gentle joys
are unmanly.

Loneliness is that same bachelor
realizing that he's got
no house-key in his pocket.

I get that you're making a distinction between the two states. What I don't get; why a bachelor? 

'stands outside his house / alone' - prose

'discovering' - not sure how you 'discover' something that's not there. Also, to have no keys in your pocket doesn't
point to loneliness. Not for me, anyway.

I like the idea of your poem but I think you need to develop it further.