The Difference - Edit 1

[Todd]

Hi Duke, it's  a cool idea. What if you played with the structure a bit (pardon me taking liberties with it).

The Difference

I. Solitude

A bachelor
standing outside his house--maybe stands. Consider moving alone up a line for theme.
alone, entranced--Not a fan of entranced. I would just present the moment and limit the overt interpretation. Some other verb to get us to the breezes.
by cool breezes, sunny leaves
and birdsong with--don't like the break on with and think you could probably cut it without replacement.
no one to say such gentle joys--I like the sonics of gentle joys and the point you make.
are unmanly.

II. Loneliness

That same bachelor
realizing that he's got
no house-key in his pocket.

Just some thoughts.

Best,

Todd