The Difference - Edit 1

[Richard]

Hey dukealien,
I like the idea behind this poem, of how solitude and loneliness are often associated together, but are not entirely the same thing. I do have some thoughts:

The Difference


Solitude's a bachelor -I find it interesting that you choose to make Solitude and Loneliness both male (bachelor). Was there a reason for this?
standing outside his house
alone, entranced
by cool breezes, sunny leaves
and birdsong with -I like how Solitude is transfixed by nature because it's so true that we often miss things like sunny leaves when we are not alone.
no one to say such gentle joys -To me, "gentle joys" sounds a little bit old-fashion. I would suggest rewording it, but I'm sure others would disagree.
are unmanly. -I really like your use of enjambment in this first stanza. All the right words are being emphasized.

Loneliness is that same bachelor
realizing that he's got -I feel like the word "got" could be replaced with a more interesting verb (i.e. lost).
no house-key in his pocket. -I like the image of Loneliness here. I just wondering if you could expand on it more since I would be curious to see what you would come up with.

I like the idea behind this poem a lot. I think you got a nice first draft here, and I look forward to seeing where you go from here.

Cheers,
Richard