08-17-2017, 01:59 PM
We come as a babe
and start this stage.
Our families do we love.
All we know
is we must grow,
and hope for things above. i love this, very broad and encompassing. adds the feeling of hope as a coming wave we go to meet.
As a child
our hope runs wild,
we dream of simple things.
Run and play,
and laugh all day,
and even having wings. I enjoyed this section, it added a mythic/unnatural element to the poem e.g wings.
Up we grow
and hope is sown
of soaring through the air.
Mountain peaks,
and oceans deep,
the places which we dare.
The last frontier.
It's far from near.
We hope to live on Mars.
Still, we stare
when we get there
and reach up for the stars. "we stare when we get there" this is pleasant as staring is a rich part of the writers day.
When death calls
and our health falls,
to higher hopes we hold. may i ask is this reference to a afterlife of some sort, a higher interpretation? or something else?
A city bright,
our souls made white,
where all is made of gold. it finishes with a lingering beauty, except the word "soul" has always been a vague definition in poems. imo.
overall i think its wonderful, the format is flowing and enabling the reader many avenues to wander through.
and start this stage.
Our families do we love.
All we know
is we must grow,
and hope for things above. i love this, very broad and encompassing. adds the feeling of hope as a coming wave we go to meet.
As a child
our hope runs wild,
we dream of simple things.
Run and play,
and laugh all day,
and even having wings. I enjoyed this section, it added a mythic/unnatural element to the poem e.g wings.
Up we grow
and hope is sown
of soaring through the air.
Mountain peaks,
and oceans deep,
the places which we dare.
The last frontier.
It's far from near.
We hope to live on Mars.
Still, we stare
when we get there
and reach up for the stars. "we stare when we get there" this is pleasant as staring is a rich part of the writers day.
When death calls
and our health falls,
to higher hopes we hold. may i ask is this reference to a afterlife of some sort, a higher interpretation? or something else?
A city bright,
our souls made white,
where all is made of gold. it finishes with a lingering beauty, except the word "soul" has always been a vague definition in poems. imo.
overall i think its wonderful, the format is flowing and enabling the reader many avenues to wander through.