Edit 6: Eventide

[nibbed]

Hi alexorande, I've read your poem several times. I see it as a sort of misty message, for some reason because it holds a lot of scattered thought. I don't know why, it is just there and my mentioning it is likely inappropriate. First, I wondered why you chose most of the lines to begin with capitals? I used to write all my poems like this, too, only because I saw others do it and it appeared to give the work a neater, more uniformed look, even seemed (to me) to help sharpen the format somehow. Your indentations are lovely in that they give the poem a beautiful look, overall, though they don't seem to offer any reason, though the lines chosen for this are very lovely and reflect a knack for poetic sound.



Eventide

I. The Beach
Could dreams from the crib 
And memories of my youth 
Be blent into a silent chaos?                        
 
In an artless time 
Of chasing brine-dripping gulls            
Alongside my sister,                      
I found comfort in the song                
That the waves crooned          
From the lips of my  
Grandparents. 
 
Must've been why their calls 
Seemed but the sand in the wind 
    which stirred Muhly grass                                  I like these two lines very much.
    and tossed finer hair;                            
Seemed but the fragrance 
    from which sea slushes on rock. 
We run, hopefully not on their patience, 
But run till we meet all-shades-of-blue's 
Drowsy tug. Time to settle down. 
 
II. The Room
Just as the sun would say-
"Time to settle down"
But it's hardly out, isn't it? 
So those words go to my grandparents; 
Of course, we comply:
Hop in the shower, ripen up, and get dry. 
Then we would tune into
The fantastical Blue's Foster Home cartoon 
Grandma, in her gown, reads
Abraham Lincoln's biography. 
Grandpa, quiet as he is, 
Is already asleep. 
Just as the moon would say
"Time to settle down"
Of course, we comply 
With the ease of the 
Shore's ever-sweet lullaby. 
Then off goes the lamp. 
 
A temporary stay at temporal ban.                     
 
I confounded this thought                                  I love when one captures true wisdom behind judgement
With dreams and existence,                                /non-judgement
Warped meditation. 
And though the value of this 
Is blotted out so beautifully, 
I am as sure as eggs are eggs                             a line everyone will want to steal.
Eventide at that beach was born 
Out of love 
For when decrepitude comes.                              a fitting end.


An interesting read I will come back to. I can relate in many ways to the "A temporal stay at a temporal band", though I don't like when my own lamp goes out, or gets dim, metaphorically speaking. The poem can be viewed from many different angles. Though I think it lacks a bit of needful clarity, it could be my interpretations and/or poor comprehension and need to review this work over again. Thank you kindly for the read.

nibbed