Birthmark (Edit Two)

[fuzzyllama1]

Okay, just some thoughts on revising in general (some of this may seem obvious but I'll lay it all out).

• A poem does not have to follow a chronological narrative structure. You are never bound by "and then this happened and then this."
  
• That said, the poem is always what you want to express. If you want it to have a chronological order that's always your call. 
  
• What I've found is a lot of initial drafts start somewhere but take awhile to get to the actual poem. There's an idea that needs to be fleshed out before you even understand what it is you're trying to say.
  
• I will always default to starting wherever it is most interesting and then building from there.
  
• Editing is about more than just fixing issues. It is about making the most effective choices.
  

I reviewed a friend's autobiography recently. She started the book in a classroom and had some things going on. Halfway through the first chapter, she wrote, "When I was six years old I realized that my dad didn't love me." This should have been her first line. It's even more of an issue in poetry than fiction. 

If you are going to keep the original lines you need to ask yourself: How can I make these more interesting? How can I make them pop more? This could result in a title change to set the focus differently.

I'm not sure if that gives you what you were asking, but I hope it helps.

Best,

Todd

Yes, this helps immensely! I have been going into editing looking solely for errors when I should also be thinking about what I want to say and if I'm really saying it with the words I have. I'm going to really think on this poem for a while. I think I'm alright at expressing things with figurative devices (still not great at that either), but there is a cohesion that is lacking when I read through my work. I sincerely appreciate the advice.