Slow Hours

[Lydish]

This is so romantic, and has a lovely longing dreamlike quality to it in the dreaming section. I like the switch from the quiet forest feeling when the narrator is breaking from work, to falling into the dream, and then compared to passionate noisy Malaga.

Never heard of a Garnacha, but now I want to try one! Some little nitpicks and comments inline below

Slow Hours


Odor of cedar billows down from the dusky needles
I thought of perfume here...like "eau de cedar"...if you go with Tiger's suggestion of "scent of odor" it could be a nice place for some alliteration "scent of cedar sweeps down"
and mixes with the scent of uncut grass.
I’ve worked hard in the sun.
But it is cool in the shade.
Who could resist sleep here?

"Who could resist sleep here" feels just one syllable too short, like I'm waiting for another syllable in there. When I read it aloud, I automatically say "sleeping"
So I fade into dreams,
dreams of nights on the sleepless coast,
in Málaga, where I first met you.
In Málaga, city of orange trees and starlight,
of deep-eyed gypsy singers.

"city of orange trees and starlight, and deep-eyed gypsy singers" makes a very clear image for me of dark coastal towns with barely visible oranges on shadowy trees under a sky canopy of stars, which is lovely. Just want to point out that there are probably people who won't be happy with use of the word "gypsy"... but that's really up to you.

Again, I see you in the garden,
and hear the Andalusian music rising,
the castanets louder, faster,
racing to the rhythm of my heart.

"Again, I see you" says to me that narrator has this dream a lot

Love was simple, then,
sweet and blood-red
like the young Garnacha
we poured and poured.

Those nights
we did not sleep,
but dreamed together,

dreamed of each-other
One little nitpick is that I find "dreamed together" "dreamed of each other" redundant. Of course they're appearing in each other's dreams if they're having the same dream, right? I also feel like this is a good opportunity to expand on a more specific "what could've happened" scenario :-)
all the slow hours of the night.
That was all.
Sweet ending!