Camazotz, revision 4

[Todd]

Hi Lizzie, some comments on the latest revision.

We all look mass-produced here,--I thought this strophe would be a stronger opening and I haven't changed my opinion. I think it serves as an establishing shot of the expected norm and then the camera can focus in on the speaker (outlier).
like God got a discount
buying the million pack of humans
in cool summer neutrals—
Ecru Mushroom, Pinot Grigio, Serengeti Sun.
I should buy my dresses wholesale too,
the family pack, so I don't ever run out
(on everyone).

I play a part, becoming one--Nice break though there's a bit of irony as this sameness exists only on the surface and that only imperfectly. 
with this stage set of Baja Beige,
weather-proof, composite siding:--These rules change but I don't think you need the hyphen for weatherproof. I think one word is the more common convention. I could be off but I don't think I am.
The Porcelain Mater,
The Breast Who Doesn't Sweat.

I wear my part like a dress while I sweep
and whistle like Cinderella with her mice,
but better dressed and less maligned.--There's nothing particularly wrong with this phrasing but for some reason with her mice makes me stumble a bit transitioning to but better dressed. It could just be me. 
Strike that, we can't keep rodents;
the HOA is prejudiced against pests.--These "p" sounds feel a little overused so close together when I read them out loud. Again could just be how I'm reading it. A fix to break it up might be pests become vermin. 
So, we get presentable pets:
Shih Tzu, Chihuahua, --I do like the addition of examples (from the approved assumed list)
Pekingese, Pomeranian.
Emperor scorpions and hissing cockroaches
are for outlandish people who fail to assimilate.

I planted purple velvet petunias
and covered the gaps of exposed earth
with cedar, but its spicy red is bold;--I wouldn't call out the boldness. I would trust the reader. Maybe simply "with spicy red cedar"
others chose white pebble or brown loam.
Perhaps waxen pansies will appease--I like waxen here. I also like appease.
the bedroom windows across the road,--subtle shift option: across the road the bedroom windows (windows is a much better thematic break word than road).
placate the unblinking eyes--love placate. You could cut "the"
who eternally mind the sidewalks.--Eternally is a bit static. How about relentlessly to imply action. 

I'm one of those people now
whose fantasies of originality actualize --Perhaps stronger if you cut "of originality"
by choosing a paint swatch
from among four different shades of cafe au lait.
What would Bukowski say?
Whine, whine, wine.

You're right, Charlie, I shouldn't complain
since the drone life is smooth
and there's abundant company
among rows and rows of common blooms,
no less beautiful for being clones.
We're a North Dakota sunflower field,
all smiling up at a humdrum sun.

Some nice changes. I hope the comments help.

Best,

Todd