undifined expression
#3
(07-18-2017, 08:43 AM)Raspberry Lemonade Wrote:  
Quote:Pictures I've drawn draw me in and I become one with them I'd suggest a stronger opener. The meaning is there, but the execution isn't as great as it can. It's a tad confusing, had me rereading it.

As they are me and mine, a making of my mind So this is meaning that the drawings you've made are yours, and they are you, created from your mind. The "As," isn't neccesary, especially since used as some sort of transition though it's the 2nd sentence
The images of my imagination expressed in several mediums Artsy talk Wink
A multitude of disciplines endlessly creating something within
To be set free, set free despite myself I assume the protagonist has met some conflict with not being able to find an answer to his problem, which is theirself
 
How full am I to burst from that which I can’t converse
But to express in less than words something that hurts or does not work 
A bleeding heart plain to see set in the open
Its beaten beats bring tears to my eyes
As I defy that which would have me die If my earlier assumptions are correct, and it's a Man vs. Himself conflict, this stanza speaks the inner fighting being brewed. He cant speak of it but has the potential and more to do so, but instead of speaking he uses art to display how he feels. It's a heart that's weakened, which I assume symbols the protagonists will to continue with life, and he defies himself, possibly inner thoughts that can be suicidal? (My interpretation)
 
Dry your eyes 
Open your minds 
Flow from what cannot be defined. Personally I don't understand the last line but it sounds nice

The poem is basic and open to interpretation by audience. I'm sure most, if not all people have inner demons or a conflict between themself and no one else but themself. Pleases a general audience through simplicity and shortness

Raspberry Lemonade, Aced and Arrowed
that's great Raspberry Lemonade, really great!! poetry has been more on the private side of my life rather than in the forefront unlike other art I create so your comment means allot to me, i get how the beginning can be confusing, as fore the second line, I'll take your advice, I should have noticed that anyway lol. you got the gist of it lol donno if I'd go so far to saying "suicidal" in a literal sense but perhaps more in a creative sense... I tend to go simple and lyrical... or artsy as you so put it hahaha thanks again, looking forward to more of your input
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Messages In This Thread
undifined expression - by Pat Doiron - 07-18-2017, 07:37 AM
RE: undifined expression - by Raspberry Lemonade - 07-18-2017, 08:43 AM
RE: undifined expression - by Pat Doiron - 07-18-2017, 11:04 AM
RE: undifined expression - by CRNDLSM - 07-19-2017, 07:41 AM
RE: undifined expression - by Pat Doiron - 07-19-2017, 10:41 AM
RE: undifined expression - by Solstice - 07-20-2017, 06:23 AM
RE: undifined expression - by Pat Doiron - 07-20-2017, 09:53 AM
RE: undifined expression - by typing mantis - 07-22-2017, 04:59 PM
RE: undifined expression - by Pat Doiron - 07-22-2017, 08:52 PM
RE: undifined expression - by DS85 - 08-15-2017, 03:19 AM
RE: undifined expression - by Ecesis - 08-16-2017, 07:39 PM



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