Fourth Edit: Hometown

[vagabond]

I
I had to leave while you were asleep.    somehow these two lines seem out of place at the beginning to me. I´d simply put “I had to leave while you were asleep” after “like a young lover´s promise.”  and omitt the “I´m sorry …”
I'm sorry it had to be that way.

The moonlight was translucent solace,     was   a  translucent solace?
the dark sky didn't judge
as I pretended to decide on                  maybe “ponder” instead of “decide”
a decision I'd already made.
I remembered walking home that last day,       “remember” instead of “remembered”?  (since the subject has not forgotten in the moment he tells the story
your pavement hot and cracked                 can´t really connect this image: hot like passion or like anger?  how is a promise cracked? I would guess cracked could mean the promises are fragile, but is that specific to the lover´s age?
like a young lover's promise.

II
After almost a year, I returned.                   instead of this line I could imagine something like “I had to return when I woke up”   , leaving the period of time undefined since it´s not that important.   and it would add a hint at the reason for the return, the fact that separation can only be endured in some dulled state.. well, that´s probably too much of my subjective view…
You seemed more beautiful than before,    
and this made me hate you worse.                good, honest observation .. hoping attraction would have faded, being angered at realizing the opposite.