Metanoia

[ellajam]

Hi, Ateri, welcome to the Pen.

Your poem was a little off-putting for me because of the odd punctuation. I don't get what the pattern of inserting periods into the middle of sentences adds and for me it seemed to be an unwelcome gimmick. But I did eventually get past it, , and found some vivid imagery and interesting language. I don't have too much to say about the subject, I really don't know what drove her to her current state, but here are some notes.

She awakens in the twilight,
face dusted in cold dew.
crouched beneath the pallor of an ivory full moon.
and out wet, shivering lips come out of?
Righteous Incantations A strong image to start.

A string of words entwined into the night air.
tears, sweat and spit brewed with stardust, stewing into a frustrated invocation. You might change the order to avoid the intrusion of the blood, sweat and tears cliche.
seeking deliverance through
Righteous Incantations

And when the twilight has melted into rays of shying daylight, This is a lovely line.
she shambles into ratty sheets.
even in her dreams she forms the cross; Another strong line.
sacrificing ragged breaths to bring about curses so forceful her body ceases. Not a fan of the sonics or the disruptive period here, her body ceases?
trembling with the force of
Righteous Incantations

They say pray without ceasing,
so she cooks with the Spirit.
oil, salt and cow’s tongue
thrown into the fiery depths of a cast iron pan,
while ardent words erupt from her jaw. I like the tongue and jaw.
and in the heat of her Passion the food is forgotten.
the shrieking of the fire alarm like Church bells. While the capitalization of Righteous Incantations makes sense to me, I don't see what Passion and Church adds.
tendrils of smoke curling off the stove become the incense blessing each I like how this competes the idea of turning common acts into rites.
Righteous Incantation

You want to push the Devil out of your Life, meh, you might be able to cut this line, it can be assumed.
but it seems He’s found purchase in your desperation. I like the phrase "found purchase in your desperation'.
wondering if you have been forsaken,
the bitterness bubbling underneath your nescience threatens to spill over in contempt. It's not clear who has contempt here.
cast you down from the place you found comfort. I haven't gotten a sense of comfort from the subject.
hurl you from your notion of sanity.

Torment her until she becomes fiendish.
swollen with the vitriol of
Righteous Incantations meh on the ending.

Maybe someone else can give you more, I hope there's something here that helps. Again, welcome.