First Edit: On Finding Another Dead Literary Journal

[Ateri]

First Edit:

Another Dead Literary Journal

The publisher employs words like  

discontinued,                                       Perhaps consider formatting the words 'discontinued' and 'unprofitable' with italics, quotes, or bold.                                                                           This may help reinforce or add another dimension to the image of the publisher writing these words to                                                                  the readership.

unprofitable.
They even fill a page                            Consider replacing the word 'they' with a more colorful description of the words that fill the page. It may                                                               create a more concrete image.
telling the readership that it's time to move on. 

The editor smiles like one would a funeral.    I really like this line, especially 'smiles like one would a funeral' I think there are rather complicated                                                                        emotions involved with smiling at a funeral. Consider elaborating more on what that looks and                                                                                  feels like.
Worried about his next job,
he calls it a shame and moves on.

The writer,
a stoic survivalist,                                        I like the sound clusters/alliteration here! -stoic, survivalist, shrugs
shrugs and moves on.

At first, the poet empathizes:                      It says 'empathizes' but the poet does not necessarily seem to be sharing the feelings of the editor or                                                                    writer. The next lines suggest they are feeling rather hapless, worried and unlucky.  
understanding the need to find another,          
anxious about money and livelihoods,
accepting the situation like someone in the audience
of a bad play.
Then comes the anger
from realizing another possible page is gone;
from imagining another poem grabbed on main street,

beaten, stabbed,                                I liked the descriptors you used in your original version more. It leaves a strong impression on the reader                                                              and is a great contrast to the relatively relaxed tone in the beginning of the poem. I also like the                                                                           personification.  Consider adding 'beaten, raped; the body dumped in the river.' back in. 


dumped at the outskirts of town,
only to survive and question those who drove by.

First time writing a poetry review and I am a novice poet, so take it all with a grain of salt! Good work so far.

Original:

On Finding Another Dead Literary Journal

The publisher employs words like
discontinued,
unprofitable.

The editor
worried about his next job
calls it a shame and moves on.

The writer,
a stoic survivalist,
shrugs and finds another.

At first, the poet empathizes.
Then comes the anger:
another possible page has been crumpled,
another metaphor denied,
another poem snatched from main street,
beaten, raped;
the body dumped in the river.
And most people don't even notice.