First Edit: On Finding Another Dead Literary Journal

[CRNDLSM]

First Edit:

Another Dead Literary Journal

The publisher employs words like
discontinued, I don't understand it's intriguing though
unprofitable. The comma makes unprofitable seem like your interpretation of words like discontinued, as opposed to the second in a list
They even fill a page the publisher fills a page in the dead literary journal, or about the literary journal, or both
telling the readership that it's time to move on. How about quoting it's time to move on and dropping the 'that' it's time to move on is fairly colloquial 

The editor smiles like one would a funeral. At a funeral?
Worried about his next job, automatic foreshadow 
he calls it a shame and moves on. Oh the editor is not responding to the page filled by or about the publisher, but adding to it.  Move on...

The writer,
a stoic survivalist, I like this enjambment following the first two strophes
shrugs and moves on. Moves on nice

At first, the poet empathizes: why poet? Separate from writer
understanding the need to find another,
anxious about money and livelihoods,
accepting the situation like someone in the audience
of a bad play.this portion seems to matter of fact, I don't feel for the poet, despite the empathy
Then comes the anger
from realizing another possible page is gone;
from imagining another poem grabbed on main street, why main street? Another poem, like a jealous ex

beaten, stabbed, I picture this literary magazine not even worth trash pickup, broken on main street
dumped at the outskirts of town,
only to survive and question those who drove by. Not feeling this last line, why question driversby?

Interesting work, hope I helped!


Original:

On Finding Another Dead Literary Journal

The publisher employs words like
discontinued,
unprofitable.

The editor
worried about his next job
calls it a shame and moves on.

The writer,
a stoic survivalist,
shrugs and finds another.

At first, the poet empathizes.
Then comes the anger:
another possible page has been crumpled,
another metaphor denied,
another poem snatched from main street,
beaten, raped;
the body dumped in the river.
And most people don't even notice.