Mother of Tunnels

[Tiger the Lion]

Hello Rad. A few notes below based on my first read...

Subtitle: Todo el mundo suda - if you want to keep this I would try to include it in the poem proper

O Mother of Tunnels! - I find "O" difficult to pull off without it sounding either archaic or melodramatic or both
Eater of senses! - exclamation marks are a tough thing also - you have 2
I bow to you. 
Your hollows hide 
Your acrid charms. - you employ all caps to start the lines in this strophe, but not the next. Pick one or the other for consistency. I would prefer lower case mid-sentence.

Acolytes whirling, 
Arms akimbo; 
Their howling fills 
the outer worlds. 
Such nakedness 
devours the Earth. 

I come to dig 
Till all is light. - "Till" is a separate word from "until" or " 'til"

Thanks for posting,
Paul

Thanks for the feedback, Paul. The opening is melodramatic, yes, but then again, it is meant to be so. - yes, I'm aware. Maybe too aware. Also, isn't till an informal way to say until? I don't mind substituting it with 'til, though. Yes, Till is technically correct. To elaborate... The last line of many poems begins with "until" in one form or another. I almost always find "Till" distracting and prefer the contracted " 'til". I should have noted that it was a strong personal preference rather than an error. Will fix the capitalization bit.

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Let me know if that context helps in any way, or modifies your reading of the poem.

it gives me a second interpretation which I can´t quite decipher as well but where the last line got a very different meaning.
I think the poem is good as it is and should remain this open.

Okay, vaga. Good to know you think it's alright.