Mother of Tunnels

[Radetof.Yahska]

Hello Rad. A few notes below based on my first read...

Subtitle: Todo el mundo suda - if you want to keep this I would try to include it in the poem proper

O Mother of Tunnels! - I find "O" difficult to pull off without it sounding either archaic or melodramatic or both
Eater of senses! - exclamation marks are a tough thing also - you have 2
I bow to you. 
Your hollows hide 
Your acrid charms. - you employ all caps to start the lines in this strophe, but not the next. Pick one or the other for consistency. I would prefer lower case mid-sentence.

Acolytes whirling, 
Arms akimbo; 
Their howling fills 
the outer worlds. 
Such nakedness 
devours the Earth. 

I come to dig 
Till all is light. - "Till" is a separate word from "until" or " 'til"

Thanks for posting,
Paul

Thanks for the feedback, Paul. The opening is melodramatic, yes, but then again, it is meant to be so. Also, isn't till an informal way to say until? I don't mind substituting it with 'til, though. Will fix the capitalization bit.

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Let me know if that context helps in any way, or modifies your reading of the poem.

it gives me a second interpretation which I can´t quite decipher as well but where the last line got a very different meaning.
I think the poem is good as it is and should remain this open.

Okay, vaga. Good to know you think it's alright.