Wearing My Issues

[Jase]

i really like that, the imagery is vivid.

Most days I feel like I wear
my depression, my anxiety,
my PTSD, and my issues
like a sash of girl scout badges that I proudly sewed on
and wear with my uniform to Brownies.

This is part of a girls' club
of which I've never wanted to be a member;
something much bigger than me,
replacing my personality,
that I just want to escape.
this in particular hit a nerve in a good way because it emanates how depression feels. specifically: "something much bigger than me, replacing my personality" like it's nullifying all feeling and reducing those into zoned-out ghosts.

But I drown myself in it.
I paint it on myself
and it's my identity more often than it isn't.
"drown myself in it" good imagery, very heavy. "and it's my identity more often than it isn't" clever wording, the depression takes over and hides the real personality with a replacement but the original, happy them is still in there somewhere.

The girl wearing the sash wants to replace those badges,
one by one,
with things that are more worthy of a life story;
More worthy of topics of conversation;
More entertaining than talking about my rape,
or my abuse,
or why I'm sad today.
"The girl wearing the sash wants to replace those badges, one by one" sets a very sad and lonely feel with how its worded.

I just want to get a badge that says I learned how to skip today.
I blew bubbles and they flew and glimmered into the wind.
I played hopscotch and counted to ten while remembering to breathe
and reciting my favorite rhyme.
back to childhood where things may have been simpler or happier, the reader can relate somewhat. less responsibility and because of that, like a double-edged sword, more freedom. this also links strongly with depression due to it being a time that was more carefree.

It's always been like this.

Always crying eyes and sad stories and wishing I was invisible;
People asking me why I'm so quiet;
My mom saying I'm just looking for attention; 
My dad hitting me when -

There I go again.

I don't want to write another sad poem.

I want to rise above it all.
I want to give sad people with sad faces like me hope.
relating to those with similar problems. very heartfelt.

Give me a day where I believe the sun will rise
and I will enjoy the sunset without fearing the dark.
beautiful ending.