Miss Representation

[Keith]

Hi, Keith. This is an interesting poem. It's sort of a sympathetic piece written about someone the speaker greatly admires. A poem of defense it seems, that is very admirable in itself. I really believe all people need someone to stand up for them at one point or another in their life. It's almost like rescue, honestly, or sweet balm to the soul. Thank you for the read and privilege to critique. I hope you are greatly blessed today.


When she was seven
we played a game,
matching heads to bodies and legs,                                                       -seven is very young to play barbies/GI Joe
a little girls face, strong arms
with anchor tattoos
footballers legs
and army boots.

And so she made the image match
stronger faster quicker,
hard to catch,
brighter braver better
than the best.
She became herself.                                                                               -I like this stanza best.

At seventeen they dropped the veil
of the beauty queen, eating only apples
to fall fast asleep.                                                                                     -who is they
When she woke I cried,                                                                              
thinner weaker slower                                                                              -the speaker or she?
something died inside.
Quiet dull compliant,                                                                               
tethered to the tugboats pull.                                                                  -human nature or a calling
She wanted the boys                                                                 
to flock like gulls.                                                                                       -I go in many directions when gulls are used in poetry. It can mean "gullible"
                                                                                                                 "scavenger" or "free".
At twenty one she started to see
beyond the braille books
of how a female should look
in preparation for male approval,
an ill placed hand can break
the darkest of spells.                                                                                  -these last two lines confuse or are contradictory

So now she stands ahead of the table,
pens take note when she speaks
a guide for the weak, all are equal.                                                              -someone strong and able
The papers reported her success                                                                -more contradiction in these
with questions of tummy tucks                                                                    three
and real or fake breasts.                                                                               lines
They missed the anchor tattoo.                                                                   -the last line leads me to believe there is no tattoo, or the subject                                                                                                                      is not recognized for a strength she has that no one seemed to
                                                                                                                     look for or notice?

thanks again for the thoughtful poem.
I hope your day is filled with hope & joy!
janine

Hi Janine
Thank you for your comments I will take them into the edit, best Keith

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When she was seven
we played a game,
matching heads to bodies and legs,
a little girls face, strong arms
with anchor tattoos
footballers legs
and army boots.

And so she made the image match   almost schizophrenic, the two people in 1st stanza one?
stronger faster quicker,
hard to catch,
brighter braver better
than the best.
She became herself.

At seventeen they dropped the veil
of the beauty queen, eating only apples       makes me think of snow white, anorexic.
to fall fast asleep.                   the reason for eating apples is interesting  
When she woke I cried,
thinner weaker slower
something died inside.
Quiet dull compliant,
tethered to the tugboats pull.  
She wanted the boys
to flock like gulls.

At twenty one she started to see
beyond the braille books         
of how a female should look
in preparation for male approval,
an ill placed hand can break             unclear, I could think of plastic surgery gone wrong, or
the darkest of spells.                      maybe some sexual encounter..

So now she stands ahead of the table,
pens take note when she speaks               good line about "communication"
a guide for the weak, all are equal.
The papers reported her success
with questions of tummy tucks
and real or fake breasts.
They missed the anchor tattoo.         I guess everyone has an anchor tattoo?

Hi Vagabond
I think from your comments you have the cut of this one, thanks for taking the time to read and comment. Best Keith