First Edit: The Last Flower

[just mercedes]

The Last Flower

Later,
she will remember the flowers If she remembers, it will be roses, or violets, or carnations. Specific not generic.
he brought home,
and how he smelled of sweat and metal good contrast and linked sounds
after his back-shift. Is this information integral to the poem?
She'll smell the bacon grease
from the breakfast she made him that day. Very prosey
She'll then repeat her side of the conversation
to a barren wall. Is 'barren' needed? It's implied.
She doesn't hear the ensuing silence.

Right now, clumsy
she (tells everyone) talks? about her family
and Whitney Pier.
Some of the nurses listen
while others become like dead friends,
their eyes blind and ears deaf.
“My son should be here
soon,” she says.

Tomorrow,
she’s a girl again, She will be
watching the dandelions outside her room
turn into puffs of smoke,
escaping stacks from the steel plant. clumsy
She tries to tell someone,
but her voice sounds
old and dying. very prosey
Her confusion is like a wave
smashing Dominion Beach. good

“Where is my husband?”
she asks. 
“Dead.” Who answers her?
She knows that word,
but thinks of the dandelions. this is good
“Where is my son?”
she whimpers.
“Gone away to work.”
She cries like an unwanted refugee. hyperbole?
“Where is my husband?”
she asks again, 
wheezing with malcontent, not convincing
desperately? for an answer.

Daily,
the truth strangles her, 
like a weed choking the last flower
in an abandoned garden. Effective ending

It turns out there is no 'later' for her, that remembering is a thing of the past. I understand what you did with the first words of each strophe but for me it doesn't work. I think the POV of a disinterested observer as narrator works against 
your reader's indentification in the pathos of the scene. It's worth spending time on.