Stones
#12
(06-28-2017, 03:55 PM)Leanne Wrote:  I remember you from the ground up. We
were smaller then, faces washed, eager to please,
sure that the world would hold us. You came to life
beneath my feet, and I swallowed the breath you had held
for so long before you knew to exhale.  
 
Others knew you, but they were not in my view
and your eyes blinkered with mine. We grew together,
sinned, were forgiven; tore apart, mended each other,
burned and were broken.
 
My others passed. Your others passed. We stayed.
I don’t know you now, but I dream of you
and when the doors close, I know you wait in the dark. 
Returning.
The poem can be read in many different ways. It could be about a dead sibling, although L4 and L5 are confusing in that context. It could be about a childhood friend who became a lover and then moved on.
'Doors' - doors / eyes / and Blake's 'when the doors of the life are closed' .... doors, our gateways to other worlds.
'I know you wait in the dark' - 'thy father's ghost, Hamlet'....or waking memories....or dreams...or waiting for you beyond the bourne....

My only grouse would be that the last strophe is so good that it makes the first two look rather bland. Perhaps I'd even say that S2 has a bit too much tell in 'burned and were broken' / 'tore apart' / 'mended each other', 'sinned'.....


The title is nicely enigmatic.
~ I think I just quoted myself - Achebe
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Messages In This Thread
Stones - by Leanne - 06-28-2017, 03:55 PM
RE: Stones - by Achebe - 06-28-2017, 04:16 PM
RE: Stones - by Leanne - 06-28-2017, 04:18 PM
RE: Stones - by ellajam - 06-28-2017, 05:02 PM
RE: Stones - by Todd - 06-29-2017, 12:11 AM
RE: Stones - by nibbed - 06-29-2017, 12:53 AM
RE: Stones - by Leanne - 06-29-2017, 06:08 AM
RE: Stones - by rayheinrich - 06-30-2017, 11:12 PM
RE: Stones - by The Four-Eyed Cat - 06-29-2017, 06:34 AM
RE: Stones - by Leanne - 06-29-2017, 07:14 AM
RE: Stones - by ellajam - 06-29-2017, 07:20 AM
RE: Stones - by vagabond - 06-30-2017, 03:48 AM
RE: Stones - by Achebe - 06-30-2017, 04:13 AM
RE: Stones - by Leanne - 06-30-2017, 04:46 AM
RE: Stones - by Todd - 06-30-2017, 05:00 AM
RE: Stones - by Leanne - 06-30-2017, 05:01 AM
RE: Stones - by CRNDLSM - 06-30-2017, 05:26 AM
RE: Stones - by Leanne - 06-30-2017, 05:38 AM
RE: Stones - by Keith - 07-01-2017, 09:19 PM
RE: Stones - by Leanne - 07-02-2017, 06:39 AM



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