The Goods

[tectak]

Thanks for the feedback all, yes this is a second draft of a piece from NAPM.
Tectak, no need to apologise for your 'outburst', I appreciate the crit, and genuinely take it on.
As for enjambment, I think you make some interesting points which could easily start a whole thread about how poets use enjambment, and I'm not sure how much everyone would agree with each other. Perhaps i'm just being willfully obtuse in my use of it, after all I am making up random words as well 

Good egg,
best,
tectak