06-29-2017, 09:36 AM
Thanks, all.
@Leanne - now that you've put that picture in my head, I can only think of a cat in a hat. As for Tuscan hills....what can I say, I'm going there on holiday in two weeks :-) But I get your point about how it may sound a bit just thrown in there.
@Todd - I did get a nagging feeling that rhyming 'hills' with 'bells' is a cliche. Also, like ella, I don't like the 'as'. Instead, 'and' is better sonically, but is a bit predictable (so is 'as', though...).
@ ella - agreed. I'll think about it for a bit and probably change it to 'and'.
@WJames - read Shakespeare!! I do use a lot of archaic crap, though...
@Lizzie - interesting! Blue in the poem it refers to the raiment in the next line, not the person in the first, perhaps that clarifies? but thanks for reading. Also...
@Leanne - now that you've put that picture in my head, I can only think of a cat in a hat. As for Tuscan hills....what can I say, I'm going there on holiday in two weeks :-) But I get your point about how it may sound a bit just thrown in there.
@Todd - I did get a nagging feeling that rhyming 'hills' with 'bells' is a cliche. Also, like ella, I don't like the 'as'. Instead, 'and' is better sonically, but is a bit predictable (so is 'as', though...).
@ ella - agreed. I'll think about it for a bit and probably change it to 'and'.
@WJames - read Shakespeare!! I do use a lot of archaic crap, though...
@Lizzie - interesting! Blue in the poem it refers to the raiment in the next line, not the person in the first, perhaps that clarifies? but thanks for reading. Also...
~ I think I just quoted myself - Achebe