Tradition

[Richard]

Hey Cat,
I like the overall idea of this poem. I do have some suggestions though:

I

We’ve killed tradition;
sliced open its throat
Made murder a virtue
And dignity a sin -I don't mind these first four lines. They clearly communicate your main idea while also sounding interesting.
Made colors turn blind -This is where I get a bit lost. How can colors go blind? Why would the loss of traditions cause this?
music deaf -Same thing with music. I don't understand how music would go deaf if traditions died. I think you need to pick one or two of these lines and expand them. May be give a specific example of a type of music that would be lost if tradition was killed. Then from there, go into more detail about why that type of music went deaf.
literature mute
and the canvas blank
My heart lost rhythm
And my speech lost rhyme
My thoughts have derailed
And my senses had dulled
for my ears refuse to hear -These lines clearly indicate how important tradition was to the speaker. However, I feel like this point could be explored more. Why are traditions so important to him/her?
That we murdered tradition
 
II
 
There lays a body
A stiffened corpse
With lifeless eyes
Akin to that of a fish
Marked like cattle -This is something I've been guilty of more than once, but be careful about mixing your metaphors. Think about this, you've compared tradition to a dead fish and a doomed cow while also starting this stanza by saying it's a corpse. I would suggest picking one and exploring it as much as you can.
A card sticking out
Under his left lobe
Labeled “Tradition”
And “Long overdue” -When you say "Long overdue", do you mean tradition's death should have already happened, or do you mean tradition itself is long overdue, so it needs to return? I actually like the ambiguity in this ending.

I think you have a nice first draft here. Your main idea is strong and worth exploring. My main suggestion would be to go into more detail with some of your images, so you express your main idea more effectively.

Cheers,
Richard