The Door (Complete Revised Edit)

[Flowerchild1093]

Hello Richard!
I think some things have gotten lost in translation here. First, the rhyme scheme doesn't begin in the fourth stanza, the first two lines are the only ones that don't follow it. Fade/away,  beneath/see/be. As far as Death, she is not a prisoner. She is the literal personification of death who can be anywhere at any time. Death shows the speaker how awful her future in life will be as a persuasion towards committing suicide. The "you" is where I begin to refer to the speaker's abusive husband. The small stanza on forgiveness is meant to show that the speaker is a forgiving person in contrast to the destructive behavior of the husband. The promise that rolls down his back is referring back to the wedding ring from the previous stanza. As to say, he threw it without a care and it was never seen again. A symbolic disrespect of the speaker and the marriage. Also, face/grate is meant to follow the rhyme scheme. I agree that I've already said what's going on, but it's meant to show the persistence within these types of unhealthy relationships, where no matter what you say or how clearly the abusive individual doesn't accept no for an answer. Obviously, you nailed the unhealthy relationship bit about looking into the mirror. She hates what she has become at the hand of another person. When I talk about paradise, the speaker is again realizing she will never have peace in life, or "paradise", due to this abusive individual. Thanks for your comments! I'll take them into consideration and hope the information I've provided here will clear some things up!

Flowerchild

Hey Flowerchild,
I like some of the images you use in this poem. However, I do have some suggestions about your poem's structure. I'll go into more detail below:

Fully Completed Revision:

Days are repeating like dusty old records.
I can't keep tracks, they're nothing more than emotions sung aloud.
I've heard a thousand smiles fade, -I like the imagery in the first three lines. I just wish you could have brought some of your ideas later in the poem back to this imagery of old records/songs. 
and a hundred dreams wither away. -I would suggest rewording this so it goes with the record imagery from the first three lines. May be say something like: "and a hundred dreams gone silent."

Keep looking ever deeper dear, 
to all that lies beneath. -I don't think you need this line. The next three lines gives the reader the idea that there's something going on below the surface of the speaker.
My skin's surface,
a facade,
this happiness you see.

Now I understand;
this just wasn't meant to be. -Just a thought, but how could this lament relate back to the idea of days being like dusty old records?

I'm a prisoner of the past -I notice that you start to rhyme here. I would suggest breaking this poem into three parts. Make the first part start at the very beginning. Have the second part start with this stanza, and then have the third part start with the stanza that begins with "A little while later." I'm suggesting this because it's a bit jarring to the reader to have a poem begin rhyming in the fourth stanza.
and my cell guard is the future.
Death is calling out to me, -How can you describe death so it better fits into the prisoner metaphor? Right now it sounds like it might be another prisoner. Was that you intention?
how can I subdue her?

I already was there,
and far I ventured to come back.
I vowed I'd never return to that place;
where my soul is empty and black. -Using black to describe suicide/death is a bit predictable. I would suggest thinking of a different way to describe it.

I stared into her eyes,
felt their unforgiving gaze
and soon enough I disappeared
into a somber daze.

Inside I saw my future, -Why would death show the speaker their future?
and suddenly I knew.
Everything I'd built
was all destroyed by you. -Is the "you" here death? If it is, then this is kind of an obvious point. If the "you" is someone else, I would suggest rewording this line because it could be interpreted to mean that you are talking about death. 

I wish you knew forgiveness,
a dear old friend of mine;
one who guided me through darkness
and taught me to be kind. -I like this personification of forgiveness. I would like to see it expanded. What did forgiveness look like? What did the speaker see when they looked into its eyes?

The cheap gold ring I gave you,
it's meaning loyal and true;
the track played twice as slow that day
with me so close to you. -You finally come back to the record/song imagery here. I wish you did this more throughout the poem.

A little while later
the tears flowed down my face
as I watched my promise
roll down your back
into the sewer grate. -This stanza breaks the rhyme scheme. Was that intentional? As well, how does a promise roll down someone's back? It made me think you were comparing the promise to sweat.

My puzzle incomplete
more pieces fell away. -I would drop the puzzle metaphor and come up with something that would work with the record/song imagery.
I tried to fill the holes
but you revelled in my shame.

I don't know how to say it
please stop asking me to stay -I think you just said it, which makes the first line of this stanza a bit unnecessary.
you picked my pieces up that night
and threw them all away.

I stare into the mirror
hating what I see, -Outside of being in an unhealthy relationship, I don't see why the speaker would hate her/himself. This is a point that could be expanded on.
I think of all the ones I love,
will they remember me?

I take a deep breath
and I dream of paradise;
a place I'd never enter
if I went on living life. -Does the speaker think they will be in paradise if they commit suicide? That is the impression I get from this stanza. Was that you intention?

Inside I'm alone,
and the fear takes hold as Death -Fear takes hold of what? I feel like you could say this in a more creative way.
slowly beckons once more.

This time as she extends 
a comforting hand
I walk into her door. -I think you mean "through her door".

Overall, this poem has some promise to it. I would recommend on restructuring it into three parts (may be even four), and trying to focus on extending the initial metaphor of life being like a repeating dusty record.

Keep writing,
Richard