01-11-2010, 11:32 AM
(01-11-2010, 11:25 AM)mikebauer Wrote: it's not for you. i think that's the truth in this -- that it's too trippy for you. there's nothing i can do about that except turn you on to words.[/quote]
come on mike. isn't that a cop out. if it's not for me i'm capable of making my own mind up. i already said i really enjoyed it. i just don't think it as good as it could be. it's irrelevant how you see me taking it. and you don't have to change it. a critique is just that. a comment is just that. it isn't a plea to be educated. as for too trippy, if anything , in places it's too obvious. (i'm saying in some, A stanza; it isn't obvious enough) i'm not asking you to change it just pointing out my take. a take only i can comprehend. and believe me, if i thought it were too trippy i'd say so, i'd say "this is too trippy for me as the reader. but i haven't.