Lost in Wanderlust

[Keith]

Hi 4 eyed cat
I enjoyed this and the journey it takes us on, I also like the close that waits for a would be lover. In general I think the rhyming couplets constrain the poem, it feels that the need to bring in the end rhyme stifles the images you create, you could try this in free verse see what happens I like the face of the world idea it remind me of school days and big boot Italy kicking poor Sicily. Some point below. Best Keith

Remind me of the sea that kisses the coast of Algiers,
Where the tides are soft and the winds all but fierce. (no cap on Where)
In that country past the strait of Gibraltar, (straits?)
where the trip to Casablanca didn’t halt her. (Consider not using where again)

Taking that plane past the eye of the Mediterranean Sea,
to the cheek of the Atlas Mountains in Jbel Ayachi.
Tell me again, what you called the world’s left brow,
I believe it was either Kiev, or the city of Moscow. (rhyme sounds forced)

You journeyed on to the scarred eye of the Aral Sea,
where only sand was left to remind you of former glory.
Greeted eastward by the buildings of Ashgabat,
which had a shade of white quite akin to that Masqat. (lovely images)

There in Rome, where we visited the Sistine,
telling me you would soon be leaving for Argentine.
Abruptly you went from the Chilean hills of Santiago,
to the concrete spires of New York and Chicago.

Was it there that you heard an oriental song?
A melody you chased all the way to Hong Kong? (nice link to follow the rhyme)
Though I might’ve confused myself with Singapore.
I’m quite certain it was either that, or Kuala Lumpur. (again sound forced)

Fondly I think of our first kiss in the vineyards of Roubaix, (nice switch the reader has more info)
reminiscing me how strongly I miss your warm embrace.
Making me hope that you’ll snap free of your peregrine,
for I will patiently wait for you at gates of Berlin. (Really like this ending)