fat rats (edit)

[vagabond]

hi vagabond. I don't want your poem to be buried or ignored. I don't know how much help I can be. Environmental junk overhead has made me wonderfully numb and useless, but I will try my best.



fat rats                                                         this could be like a lab experiment or maybe someone not as revered as a fat cat, though
                                                                    are fat cats revered? ha. no.

what is the energy of guilt?                         guilt is wastefulness, but conviction is another story
what is the worth of this word?                   a pen can be powerful
in equivalent, pay with remorse.                 some people suffer it, but hide it well or wish to get beyond it for helaths sake
 
what is the proof of remorse?                      good question
what is the proof of a shadow?                    the presence light against matter
both can´t be touched, but won´t leave.       true
 
how is the damn shadow connected?          
how can it pull back to the past?
rats gnawing, concealed in the dark.            this line is mysterious to me
 
what do they live on, those rats?                  bitterness maybe, power to torment, it's sad
oh, they are overweight,                              
fed up, but hungry,
always need more.                                       I guess this answers the question of rats vs. cats



the poem is mysterious, but I think the ending needs to
be stronger, or tie together the whole poem. Thank you
for the interesting read, vagabond.

janine

thanks for your comment, you got it right about the poem containing bitterness (hadn´t really realized that myself).