fat rats (edit)

[vagabond]

Hello Vagabond. Mostly some suggestions for cutting bits that might move the piece along. Hope you don't mind for a misc post. 
Paul

I certainly don´t mind!  the poem is in misc because I´ m mainly interested how (or if) it can be interpreted by readers.
thanks for all your suggestions, I ll use them for an edit. btw with "energy" I meant "energy as in the thing measured in calories". I ll try to make this clearer.

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The first stanza is compact in meaning and encloses a very interesting question of point of view. A quilt is a word, but also it represents an action. That who feels guilty has done something, so the quilt is not so abstract as love or happiness, so there is the energy of quilt in my estimation,  as an action or deed done.

I notice that this poem could be divided into two sections or parts. The first is made of one thought only. It tackles one aspect of life. The section part deviates from the first by quite a margin and bears no relation to the first part, so the poem as a whole has its faults but as writing it does succeed and has merit.

Thank you and good day.

thanks for commenting!